With the end of the year upon us, it’s time to reflect on the year that was.
At the start of the year, I set a one word intention. For 2019 I chose the word SMASH.
You can read the why behind the word here>> 2019 Intention: Smash
When we look at the definition of smash, it means to break up into pieces, to defeat, to shatter.
While you assume it has negative connotations, my aim of the word was to use it in a positive sense.
Sure, I smashed out some epic goals.
My A goal was to run an ultra. Run an ultra I did. I’m super proud of this achievement. However, the mental load I suffered in the lead up was nothing I was expecting.
The Back Story
I’ve been umming and aahing about telling this story. I mentioned it in passing, but I haven’t delved into too much detail.
Now the year is coming to a close and it’s time to reflect, now is the time to explain.
I was 2ic (second in charge) in the Deli at Woolworths. I loved my job and enjoyed going to work.
Then Woolworths announced that a restructure of their operations model would mean that my role would no longer exist.
Out of the 10 people effected, 4 would not get new roles.
Rather than stress and worry about it, I figured, whatever happens, will happen, I will continue doing what I was doing.
The day came and I was informed that I was unsuccessful. I was shattered. This was days before having to run You Yangs 30. I was just entering peak training mode, and now this?!
Not only that, the changeover, and when I would be “demoted” coincided with me running Surf Coast.
I hated that this now effected/tainted my experience of running an ultra.
Broken into pieces, defeated and shattered. I became SMASH.
This wasn’t how I intended my word for the year to be, but it’s strange how things turn out.
What Did I Learn from this Experience?
- Personal leave is there to be used, so take those mental health days.
- That it’s important to have a network of friends and family you can talk to.
- Running helped relieve the stress, it gave me something to focus on.
- I got to work on my personal development.
I look back on Matilda of 3 months ago, and I just want to give her a hug (and I’m not a hugger).
That time of my life was HARD. It sucked.
Which is why for 2020 my word will be anything else but SMASH.
Did you live up to your one word intention?
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